The Fiore Blind Date Service
by EsmeraThelran
Summary: Most of the Mages is Fiore have signed up to The Fiore Blind Date Service. They are after many things, eternal love, a night of fun, or maybe even just a friend. The problem is, the matching system is a little broken and has come up with some 'interesting' results. Full Summary inside
1. Chapter 1

The Fiore Blind Date Service

Summary: Most of the Mages is Fiore have signed up to FiBDaS, The Fiore Blind Date Service. They are after many things, eternal love, a night of fun, or maybe even just a friend. The problem is, the matching system is a little broken and has come up with some 'interesting' results, and with the way the dates are organised, the poor mages who get caught out have to endure goodness knows what.

Authors notes – An addition to my series of crack-fic one shot collections, thanks to dragonofhellsflame who requested a theme for a chapter of Frosch's Internet adventures, however said would-be chapter is now a collection in it's own right.

This is a direct spin off from Frosch's Internet Adventures Chapter 5.

Chapter 1 – Drunk Dragon

Rogue should have known better than to let Frosch sign him up on the FiBDaS, and he really really should know better than to let Frosch chose his dates. Yes the Exceed meant well, but he was now trying to figure out how not to get chibified by the overprotective father of his date, and Gildarts Clive was proving difficult to handle.

"So why do you want to date my daughter?"

"Ok, I'll be honest, this whole thing was set up by the Fiore Blind Date Service, I had no idea who I was going to meet, and even if Cana is identifiable by her profile, it was Frosch who chose her, I did not even get to see the other options."

"Oh. . . and what are you planning to do with my daughter?"

"I have yet to see the date schedule, but I won't be doing anything inappropriate to her."

"Hmm. . ."

"DAD WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! LEAVE MY DATE ALONE!"

"But Cana-chan. . ."

"No buts, if I have any problems, I will tell you and then you can kill him, but not before."

"Hmph, alright, but I want a full report afterwards." Gildarts sulked before he went off somewhere,

"Geez, at this rate I'll never find someone, ah, you're my date aren't you?"

"Yes."

"Ok, inside, happy hour starts in five."

-Several hours later-

Cana was carrying a drunk Rogue back to the Sabertooth guild, grinning due to her own intoxicated state.

"Oi I think this one is yours." she called out to a confused Sting before dumping Rogue on him.

"Eh? What?"

"Tell him if he wants another shot, he needs to work on his alcohol tolerance levels."

"Uh, ok. . ." before Sting could ask any more questions, she was gone.

"Ughh. . . I don't. . . feel. . . so good."

"How much did you have to drink?"

"Lost. . . count. . . fif. . . teen. . . maybe?"


	2. Chapter 2

The Fiore Blind Date Service

Authors notes: ok, if I don't get requests, I'll be using a random pairing gernerator I made on a spreadsheet to give me inspiration, so don't worry I worked out that there are well over 3000 possible pairings.

Other things, I have no preferences when it comes to yaoi, yuri or het fics, some pairings I like, and others I loathe.

All the chapters are independant from each other, so don't worry about continuity it does not need to exist.

And finally:

I have just started work, so I won't be updating as much as I would like, I'll try to keep the updates to once a week at the weekend at some time.

Chapter 2 - Love at first fight?

"What did you call me Ice Whore?"

"Does is matter Flame Brain?"

"That's it, I'm gonna beat you for sure now!"

"Oi, don't steal my lines!"

"Argh, put some clothes on"

"Why should I?"

BANG

SMASH

CRASH

THUD

"What are you two up to?"

"EEEEK, uh, uh."

"Just some male bonding time."

"Yeah male bonding time."

"Ok, but try to keep the noise down, people are trying to sleep."

"Ok, sorry."

"Yeah, sorry"

Natsu and Grey waited until she was out of sight before slumping to the floor.

"Hah, Erza is scary."

"Yeah, though how did she find us?"

-A Few streets away-

"Ah Erza-san is everything ok?"

"Yes, they we just having some male bonding time Juvia, don't worry."

"Male bonding, does that mean. . . Natsu and. . . Grey-sama. . . NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"


	3. Chapter 3

Fiore Blind Date Service

Authors notes: Ok, sorry about the lack of update last week, but plot bunnies have been going crazy so there will be a double post.

Chapter 3: SpicyCool

Grey swallowed and wondered what he had done to deserve this.

"Ice boy!"

"Ah, sorry, I think I got the wrong location."

"Come on Ice Boy!"

_Why me? Why sugarboy? How do I get out of this?_

"All this running is spicy!"

"Argh someone HELP!"

But no one answered.

"Ice Boy, wait up!"

"HELL NO!"

THUD

He crashed into a wall and groaned.

"I've caught you Ice Boy."

"Keep away, keep away!"

"Grey-sama!?"

_I'm gonna regret this, but I have no choice._

"Juvia, I could use a hand here."

"Wait, is he harassing Gray-sama?"

"Eh?"

"Yes he is so can you help me get rid of him?"

"JUVIA WON'T LET YOU TOUCH GREY-SAMA!"

-The next day-

"Oh Grey did you hear about the Tsunami that nearly destroyed Crocus?" Erza asked.

"Yeah." Grey was wiped out on the floor.

"And why are your clothes soaked?"

"Crocus."

"Wait you were there? What happened?"

"Didn't like Blind Date."

"And?"

"Juvia saw."

"So the Tsunami was Juvia?"

"Uh-huh, then she wouldn't let go."

"So her or your original date?" Lucy asked.

"My original date was Sugarboy, I'd rather date Natsu than him."


	4. Chapter 4

Fiore Blind Date Service

Authors notes: 2nd of the double posting for today, I hope you all enjoy.

Chapter 4: Playdate

Rogue sighed as he escorted Frosch to her date, wondering who would want to date an Exceed.

He approached the bowling alley where the date was happening and suddenly realised who Frosch's date was.

"Why are you here Rogue?" Kagura asked.

"Frosch has a date, I'm just making sure she gets there and back fine."

"Oh," Erza said, "Fine, but you're waiting here."

"It's ok Rogue, Fro will be fine."

-A couple of hours later-

"Ok Frosch, here's my number, email and my address, you can come over and play anytime." Milliana giggled as she handed Frosch a piece of paper.

"Ok, Fro will email you."

"Thanks."

Rogue sighed, he should have known it would turn into a playdate.


End file.
